do i wait for my exboyfriend while he needs space to deal with his divorce
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I was with my boyfriend 6months and it was instant perfect match for both of us.perfect easy meant to be together and we both fell hard.Open honest good communication together.problem is that he from the start said didnt want a serious relationship because he just got seperated from his ex 6months earlier and i was just newly divorced.it was exactly what we both wanted but somewhere along the way we both fell in love and it caught us both by suprise.so everytime hed fall a bit more he would then pull away this happened a few times throughout the 6months but then all of a sudden he said he fell hard for me and he pulled away right after.since then he has distanced himself so much i only was seeing him once a week but he still called daily etc. he and i still communicating he saying he needs space here and there.so now 2 weeks ago he hasent seen me in 3 weeks but still him calling me everyday,we bumped into each other at a pub and it was like he needed to not be around me make it easier on him to
figure out what he wants right now.so he sees me after so long and he fell in love all over againwhen he laid eyes on me.he will always look in the eyes and smile and we didnt even need words just our eye communication..we hung out together all night he was amazing. till that night he breaks up with me, says he doesnt know what he wants hes confused, hes starting a divorce this month and hes numb to all emotions right now. he said not fair to me stay with me if he doesnt know what he wants.he wants be with me thinks iam perfect great and realltyreally likes me but doesnt know what he feels or wants.so i said i have to walk away and i have.i know he loves me and wants to be with me but he has emtions dealing with the seperation ending and the start of the divorce. they are not getting back together no worries there.hes always been honest about that with me.then the next 2 days after he kept calling me talk me and see how i was and on the last call he told me i can call him anytime i wanna talk to him. alot of tears for both of us,i said i want him to figure out what he wants and do what he has to do and then to come back, he said its the only way will happen and both of us said goodbye.. it has been 2 weeks and no contact.i will not contact him in nay way.i want him to realize what he had was what he wants and our love will help him move on and get closure on the divorce.i feel he will come back and our feelings are real and we both know we want each other but hes confused?scared?whats going on in his head?. will he come back? how long do you think before he contacts me?
You have analyzed this situation extremely well in my opinion and you are handling it well too. The space and no contact is his way of dealing with an overwhelming load of emotions coming out of the separation as you said. You wonder what is going on in his head. Some people take a lot of time to process the thoughts and feelings which arise during change. He seems to be one of those types. From what you say, I think he will come back but it is difficult to say how long it will take.
Sorry you are in this situation. Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com