My best guy friend or is there something more?
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
My best guy friend was recently broken up with from his gf of about a year. We've always been close- giving each other advice, texting and talking on the phone, etc. We have a lot in common such as love for music, both of us being hopeless romantics, love for acoustic music, cuddling,same beliefs/thoughts/opinions etc. We almost seem to think alike. We are both very mature people, being almost 16 and all, compared to our peers. He is in total belief that he loved his now ex gf, and still loves her. I think he's still caught up in their relationship and obviously isn't over her. I've been truly trying to help him out with sorting through his feelings and all. I've been trying to study his body language too and what he says and how he says it etc. He talks to more girls now but it almost seems like he isn't sincere with them, he kinda flirts with them too like he'll do a karate move on them (he's a black belt) like he wants to show off, almost like he wants that attention. but when he's around me he seems very casual and comfortable, which is the same way i feel around him. i can tell him anything and i totally trust him, he feels the same way (he told me, and tells me lots of things and says 'i'll tell you because i trust you') I started to notice my affection for him when his now ex gf broke up with him and acted like she was totally done with him. he was bummed, of course, and i could tell i would get angry at her and could feel all this care for him bursting out of me like i needed to stand up for him because i thought he deserved better. he seems absolutely perfect for me (in my head and all) but with me being a hopeless romantic and a teenager sometimes that isn't what's best for me or what's realistic. i want to do the right thing, which is being a good friend and being there for him because he needs it until he gets over her, but then i'm getting mixed signals that he's flirting with me. such as at homecoming trying to grind with other girls but after we left telling me that he owes me a slow dance, and playing/singing me an acoustic song over the phone then asking for my opinion, and telling me what's wrong and asking for help. he always smiles at me too, which i love. so my question is are these signs that there could be something more than just a best friend relationship between us in the future or am i reading too much into things and hoping for something unrealistic?
Rather than waste your time looking for signs and wishing and hoping why not discuss this with him?
After all you said "I totally trust him, he feels the same way." Why not trust him with one of your most important feelings?
Sure you are worried it might cause some trouble between you but if you are such good friends you can talk about that concern too. One way to tell him is to say "I think I am developing feelings for you." That is less stressful, for both of you, than blurting out a declaration of love.
Choose a time when you can discuss this at length.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com