How should I handle this? I am getting tired already.
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
In short, I am a youngest one in a family that has 3 kids. Since I was little, I've always been the one that everybody, in this case My father, my mother (sometimes), my eldest sister, and my older brother sees as the weakest one when it comes to education, smartness, and ability to have a business mind among three kids. I was born in a very material like family and business minded family, however, as soon as I moved out to live outside the state where my family resided. I've become someone who is totally different than the rest. Different in the way I live my life, the way I think about life, and how I choose my way to live my own life with my husband and my daughter. I have a family (husband and a daughter). meanwhile, my sister is single because she always dates someone who is 25+ yrs older for the money although she is already 35 yrs old and my brother who always think about getting to know important people who play important roles in a business world is married without any kid because he has been trying to have one but never happen in his 10 yrs marriage. I recently was offered to join my sister's company because she is a CEO and she offered me to be a sitter for elderly people because she thinks that my Bachelor Degree is not valuable enough in her company and that I don't know anything about business and so that's the only thing that she can offer me. I am not even asking her help to find me a job but yet she mentioned this to me.
My dad has always told me and my siblings that I wouldn't be able to have a high degree from University because I am not that smart and that I am lazy in school. I proved him wrong and I achieved something that none of my siblings ever achieved which is getting a scholarship to finish my degree because my dad has always been there for my two siblings, paying them for 8 yrs until they graduate and supported them with money until they got their own house, cars,and pretty much business. My dad involved in choosing the right business degree for my two siblings so that they can be successful. however, me on other hand, don't have a business or company like my siblings do. My dad never involved in choosing the right degree for me. He just said to me that I should pick the degree that is not too long to finish and easy to study. My husband is working pay check to paycheck and I am taking care of our 1 year old daughter. When it comes to business my two siblings will exclude me whenever they have a chance to build a company or having a business. However, it happened one time when this worldwide bakery company was interested to open two stores in the US and they were interested to have me operate one of the stores. The next thing I know. my two siblings volunteraly included themselves in the business structure that I was going to propose to the company without asking any opinions from me, a person who initially had a contact with the owner of the company. My brother suggested in the structure proposal that I should be the one going to the store everyday working and meanwhile he is the adviser of the company and my sister is the financial adviser for the company. My brother suggested to me also that I shouldn't have bother coming to the meeting and he said that he'll take care of it since I live far and that I didn't have money to buy an airplane ticket. During the meeting, the owner of the company asked why I didn't attend the meeting that was scheduled for me and him. My brother just lied to him. Strange enough, I did not doubt my brother at all to help me with the business deal and that I trusted him. And of course at the end, the business agreement failed and now I am back to have nothing.
To be honest, I have been feeling insulted for so long and I've been discouraged for so long now and I am tired of it. In certain situations I felt like I have been tricked with my two siblings. Do you think so?
It doesn't matter what I've accomplished in life that I think it's the most precious thing for me like having a kid and a husband. the way my siblings think about me is still the same, as someone who is clueless about business, poor, and not important. My sister always told me that I am not meant to be for my husband and that I have to take consequences marrying my husband who comes from a poor family. My parents once told me that I should have another kid and give the kid to my sister because she has been wanting to have a kid but she doesn't have a steady partner yet. My family also told me that I have to prepare a will that should determine who should take care of our daughter if something happen between me and my husband, in this case, my sister and brother. My sister always pushing me to get my daughter's SSN but I haven't given it to her because I don't want to. Everybody always concern about my daughter because they say that I don't have money and that I can not afford to pay for bills that way my daughter is not taken care of. I really feel like I don't have anyone behind me who supports me or understand me or at least treat me good.
How should I handle this situation? Because I am getting tired of it. Any tips or suggestions would be appreciated. Thank You!!!
Thank you for taking the time to write such a detailed question. However, this web site is only for romance questions and that is why it is called RomanceClass.
While I am tempted to try to give you advice, it would be wrong of me to do so because I am not competent in the areas you discussed.
I wish you the best of luck with your family and life.
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com