What is this?!
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
I have known this guy for over ten years and we secretly started seeing each other three years ago. We have a lot of the same associates but no one knows that we are seeing each other. He seems like a very private person to those who know him and he can be a real a-hole at times. I like spending time with him because I get to see a more open and sensitive side of him. He can usually be very sweet when I need him to be. Lately he has been anything but. I always do nice things for him and he never does anything nice for me unless I throw a big fit over it. He always claims that he does not believe in celebrating holidays and birthdays because that stuff just doesn't matter to him. I recently was very sick and he didn't evcen bother to come to see me even though I was home by myself all day and he only called me once!
I know we started out just having a good time and not wanting to make nothing much out of it but it has been three years! He always acts like the jealous type whenever he thinks I am dating someone else but he doesn't want to admit that he cares for me. He never says that he loves me and he never admits that we are in any type of relationship. When I tried to break it off, he said that I could not quit him and that I knew I was his girl and he cared for me. What the heck does that mean?! I just don't know what to do about the whole thing. I like him but I can't stand him!
Relationships are give and take but it seems like he keeps taking and never gives. You can't really love someone like that no matter how much you like him. You seem to be enjoying some parts of him, but overall he isn't what you probably need from a partner. You may end up miserable because he won't do what you need and you will keep chasing a guy who's never going to be.
If you really want to, you could spend the next year working very hard to change him. But, don't you think that will be a waste of time? You've spent three years already trying to change him and it didn't work.
There are plenty of other guys out there who will fulfill your needs, make you happy and tell you they love you. Do your self a favor and start looking for someone new.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com