Do Girls Like Nice Guys?
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I had 2 questions. I just go back into dating after a long relationship. I met this really sweet girl a few weeks back. We have gone out a few times and talked on the phone allot as well. But my last date with her was so BAD! It was one of the worst experiences I have ever had!!! She calls me up and asks if I want to pick her up from work to go out, I said sure...we decided to just drive out to the City. Everything was fine for the first half hour, but after that everything went downhill. Total silence! You know the mind paining heart numbing silence!!! Ofcourse we had the occasional small talk, but nothing that flowed naturally, you know? I don't know what happened. I did have allot of stress on me that wk, so that may have been it! But the date lasted almost 5 hrs and we were alone doing no activities...so I am not sure what to think? I really like her, but after that date I am not sure if we are right for each other...what is your opinion on this...
My second question is...now 3 of my friends who are girls have told me that females don't like nice guys! I had the courage to ask this girl that I like that and she admitted to that as well...I don't understand this, can you explain...
OK first off, not every time you spend with someone has to be a talk-fest. To talk non-stop for 5 hours is a pretty tall order for most people. That's why when you choose dates you do things like go to restaurants, go to movies, go for walks, go mountain biking, go to an art museum. You do something that you both enjoy and that you can do together. Also, if you can be happy with someone while you're quiet, that's a good thing! How many movies have scenes of two people walking down a beach, or sitting and looking at the moon? Silence can be incredibly wonderful. You shouldn't NEED to fill it up with words.
Next, the whole nice guy thing. I have to imagine that these friends of yours are teenagers. There's this whole mystique when you're a teenage girl about a "bad boy" because in general you're trying to be your own person and rebel against what your parents want. Your parents obviously want a nice, decent, honorable guy for you. So many girls say "Ha ha ha! I'm going to have a bad guy that rides a motorcycle and drinks and smokes because it will be exciting!!" Plus movies also play up the whole bad-guy-is-tamed-by-the-girl thing.
But in reality, women learn pretty early on that bad guys DON'T change. They stay bad. And actually having to LIVE with a bad guy day in and day out really SUCKS. If you read relationship advice columns half of the questions are from women who are now stuck with a bad guy and want desperately to escape. The women who are with great guys, their Prince Charming, are happy and content and don't need to write in.
So sure, your friends may think they don't want a nice guy because it would be "boring". But just wait until they actually live with a bad guy. They'll be crying on their Nice Guy male friend's shoulders, wishing they had someone like THAT in their life instead of the jerk they ended up with.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com