Mending a confused heart....
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My ex is having a baby with someone else after just 6 weeks of ending his relationship with me. I've been having a very difficult time dealing with this. I was with this person for about a year in a half and while we were together he became such big part of my life. I loved him so much he was the first guy I had ever loved I even gave him my virginity. Our relationship was great but like all good things it came to an end. The break up was difficult for both of us but we dealt with it differently. After the break up we decided to be friends. I didn't want to be involved with anyone for a while, but he on the other decided to rebound with a random freshman he had recently meet on campus and unfortunately got her pregnant. One day out of know where he told me we couldnít be friends anymore he didnít give me a clear explanation he just told me he didnít want me to cling to him anymore. Later I found out the the real reason he made this decision about us, this girl was pregnant at that same time and so he had made her his girlfriend. Every since he has not been able to faces me, we no longer speak anymore. His life has obviously changed he has a girlfriend and a child on the way. It wasnt the life he imagined he would have right after ending his relationship with me but it happendend and hes dealing with the consequences but this has effected me greatly. I try my hardest to avoid my ex but I still see him all the time with his new pregnant girlfriend and we donít say anything to each other. Its hard because not to long ago he was my boyfriend and now were strangers. I'm very hurt and angry about finding this out. I loved him very much and even though I dont like to think about it to much anymore I still love him. Sometime i feel im never going to get over him its been about a year now since the break up and his baby is going to be born in a few days but that has not stopped me from still missing him a wondering about his new life now. Most people think after what he had done it should of been easy to let go and move on but I dont think you really ever get over your first love no matter what they do you just learn to live with out them.I still have good and bad days where I dont really think about him much or the past and then there are days I still struggle with what happened after our break up. Iím still very much full of anger and hurt. I dont know how to get this all off my chest. I feel like he never cared, how did he replaced me so fast and erased me from his life?. Why did he shut me out completely? Did he ever really care about me? Will he ever be a part of my life again? I donít know how to get all the answers I seek for. How can I deal with this and move on with my life? This are the questions that hunt me everday. I need some advice please!!!
You need more advice than you can get online. There are too many clues and trails to follow and followup questions to ask.
The way that will work is for you to go to your college's health center and ask for an appointment to see a psychotherapist. Probably this person will have the time and first hand contact with you and can get to the bottom of this.
You have suffered too long... seek out meaningful help through a counselor.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com