Girls Night Out

Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I am pretty secure in myself but at my age (late 30's), I am looking for more than running in the clubs. Most guys I know accept the Girls Night Out because they want their Guy Night Out. I don't want that. I want to build a life with someone together, not apart. I think it only invites problems. My girlfriend wants a break because I am not so accepting of this, although I am not the kind to tell her what to do, she knows I do not like it. I feel like I have to run with her in the clubs/bars to make her happy so she will not want that Girls Night Out and she is also in her late 30's. My friends tell me not to accept it and if at her age, she is not ready to settle down I should move on. But am I pushing my views on someone and should I be accepting and trusting because she never gave me a reason not to. But I also don't want to sit home on the weekends waiting for my girlfriend/wife to come home from the bars and clubs drunk. We have an awesome relationship otherwise and this is killing me. What is the best advise?? Advice
There is no good answer to the dilemma.

You are perfectly justified in feeling uncomfortable with her going out and getting drunk at bars and clubs. And, she is justified in wanting to have a night out with the girls and get loaded.

One solution would be for you to go out the same night as she does and agree to come home at the same time or perhaps you could drop her off and pick her up at the bar(s). She would just have to call you and let you know where she is.

Another solution is to go to a marriage counselor and straighten out the problem. I don't think that you will get all of what you want and she won't get all of what she wants.

Try to compromise.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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