Other girl problems
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I will provide some background first: (i hope its not too long!)
I have been with my boyfriend for about one year and a half. He is 20 and I am 19. Before we were together he tried to go with my friend, i'll call her Amy, but Amy said she didn't want to. So a little bit afterwards him and I went out. then i found out that him and Amy were talking behind my back about how maybe they should try being together after all and that kind of stuff. I ended things with him after that. During this time him and Amy sort of tried to start something but apparently he said he felt like i was the one he truly wanted so he begged for me back. after a couple of weeks or so we got back together. since then him and amy still have been quite close. the relationship between him and i has been mostly good. We have many good times as well as quite a few arguments tho. we even talked about our future together and we basically said we would be getting married and everything. he says i am #1 and that Amy deons't mean anything, or any other girl. however i have always been very insecure about things. I don't trust very well, especially after what happend in the beginning. i always have problems with him and Amy being together alone. Also if she is having problems with her current boyfriend he is constantly helping and talking to her about it. We just had a huge fight recently and very nearly broke up. but we stayed together tentatively. However i just found out that he recently was talking to Amy about how she broke his heart in the beginning and what not. this shocked me. To me this seems inappropriate becuase he made it seem like i was perfect for him! is there cause for concern between him and Amy? i cant believe after one and a half years he is still talking about that :( i don't know what to think anymore and i find that many times my trust issues/jealousy get in the way. how can i stop it??!!
As long as he keeps talking to Amy, you can stop your trust issues.
Make that clear to him so he has a clear choice. There is no reason for you to suffer while he deals with Amy. You are his girlfriend, after all.
Amy should be off his list of concerns now if he wants to keep you. You wouldn't do the same thing to him.
Just make it very clear to him that he is risking everything by his wrong-headed behavior.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com