I just want to make her feel safe agian...
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Me and my gf have been going out for about 7 months now. At the beginning i wasn't jealous or anything with her.
But as soon as I found out that she has a LOT of guy friends, idk. In fact.. that's all she really gets along with are guys. I kind of new that in the beginning, but more n more i started to see how many guy friends she really has. And how easily she gets along with them.
And i'm not really like any of her other guys friends or her former bf's. I don't really go and do a lot of the same things as they did with her, mainly because i can't. As much as i want to do and give all that stuff to her, i either don't have time or can't afford too. But her past bf's and her friends could.
I know that she loves me. She's done everything to make me happy. And i honestly only want to make her happy. But... i seem to get angry or upset as soon as she mention's that she met up w/ a friend, or went to a show with one of her guy friends. Or is doing this or that with them. Or even if she says how much fun she had doing something so small and nothing to worry about, i seem to get mad or defensive. Especially now. A certain guy came into the picture, and i feel that he's so much better than i am. And to top it all off, she likes him as a friend because they have a ton they can relate to. He does everything she does, but not on purpose. I felt as if she might lose interest in me and go with him.. But i know that she wouldn't do that. I honestly do. I just hate that as soon as she mentions his name or "so n so did this" i get uptight and defensive. And it's not just confined to him, but to any guy that's like my gf's past bf or what she usually goes for in a guy.
I'm starting to be a jerk to her lately, and even raised my voice to her a couple times when i got too upset about who she was hanging out with or a situation we were were dealing with because of how i get...
I don't know what to do or how to stop my jealousy. I just need to know how to calm it down, or if i can. Because i really just want things to go back to the way they used to be..
Try talking back to the jealousy.
Whenever it raises its ugly head tell it to go away and stop bothering you. Tell it that it is only causing you pain and causing pain for your girlfriend too.
It sounds rather dumb to do this, but it will probably work if you are serious about it.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com