The First Date for an Internet Relationship

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Male
I met a girl online about 9 months ago and we really connect and have good conversation. We have sent pictures of ourselves to each other and I think she is a very cute girl. She lives only about 20 minutes from me. She gave me her phone number about 4 months ago and we have been talking online and on the phone.

I really like her and it seems as if she likes me as well. I would really like to meet her but it seems as if she is scared to meet me. She has told me where she works, but I don't want to just pop in on her without her permission.

Is there any way I can make her comfortable to get to meet me? Do you recommend any places I could offer to meet her at? Any other related help of this topic would be appreciated. She is 18, I am 20. Thankyou for your help. Advice
It's always tough to have that first date - it is the moment in which all of your dreams and fantasies come crashing into reality. You worry about disappointing the other person, about being disappointed, about ending up with a stalker, etc. So it is definitely a scary transition to make.

I would NOT just show up at her work unannounced. That can land you firmly into the stalker category as far as she is concerned. However, after 9 months it's quite reasonable to at least meet somewhere!

I have lots of suggestions on a first date here -

really your first date is not different in most ways from any other first date. It's a time of great excitement and also great worry. The basic keys are to:

* meet somewhere very public, so she feels safe
* meet somewhere nice but casual, so she feels comfortable
* bring a small but not expensive gift, to show you care but not that you're trying to buy her love
* have suggestions for a movie and/or coffeehouse afterwards, so if she wants to have the date last longer she can, but don't assume that the first date will be a long one.

Good luck!

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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