Faking the Big O
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I've always faked orgasms with my boyfriend and he doesn't know it. I want to know if I should stop faking them now or not. It doesn't bother me to do that and I know if I stop faking now he will begin to wonder if something is wrong. Do most women do this? Since I'm not hurting anyone do I just keep things going like they have always been?
The woman who do this don't stay with their boyfriends for long because it becomes a royal pain very quickly. Most women are with boyfriends that they enjoy being with! And I hate to say this, but the real problem rests with you starting this whole charade. A relationship should NEVER be about lies, and now you've made a big lie the foundation of your entire sex life. Your sex life should be THE most honest and true part of your relationship. It is something special shared by you and by him.
The question is how to undo this before it becomes serious. I really have to say that you should stop faking orgasms going forward. He wants to make you happy! If you aren't actually reaching that point, to lie to him constantly is just reinforcing what he's doing wrong. It's not that difficult to actually HAVE an orgasm. Many times it can't be done just by the guy inside you, it requires manual stimulation outside. And believe me, the guy can TELL when you actually do come. And it feels INCREDIBLY good to him. So to keep faking it is cheating HIM out of a ton of pleasure. Which isn't fair at all.
So the next time you guys are intimate, say that you want to try stimulating yourself while you have sex. He should be up to something new and interesting. I imagine you can make yourself have an orgasm!! And when you do, when he's inside you, it will feel amazingly good for you AND for him. So then just keep trying that in different positions and maybe he can help out.
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com