I dont understand...
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My ex and I were together for a year and a half. We.ve been
dating one another through long distance but we were very involved in each others life (family, friends, etc)
We had our ups and downs but always seemed to work through them except for this summer, he broke up because I caught him lying to me about something, which he defended very well and it turned around saying ''I had trust issues''.
I didnt give up mainly cuz it was a stupid lie and decided to forget it and I wanted to get back, which he knew very well. We finally did in October when we saw each other but he said ''we werent officially back'' and from then - I let it go completly. To my surprise, he chased me back asking me to stay in touch and calling me. In November we finally spoke about things and he told me I was the best girl he ever met, and we discussed the relationship.He told me I wasnt the only one who was hurt, he was too, but that things were getting harder cuz of the distance.
Beginning December, he surprised me by telling me he spoke to his parents about me and to his brother and starting reminiscing about us. He finally asked me if I was serious whn I said Ide leave my ciy and move in with him. I told him I was in summer and September but that now I was afraid. He told me if we do this its cuz we want each other and we'll make it work, dont think negative. I told him Ide give it some thought and apply for an internship there in January. I was i my final exams at school ( I had 6 finals ). Two weeks later and in the middle of my exams, he calls me and tells me he made up his mind, he's leaving the country to take a business proposal. I was devastated. I kept crying non stop telling him I thought we were moving in and he told me he thought it was the smart move and that after Im done with my exams and my internship we'd move in together and meanwhile he'll work on his career. I obviously failed all those exams but luckily was able to stay in the program, having done well in my assignments and in the midterms.
I called him non-stop after he broke me the news but he wouldnt answer or return mycalls. A week later, he sent me a text telling me he's in Europe and well, and that he'd call me later. I was devastating, hoping he'd change his mind.
I was kinda surprised he'd leave before Xmas and his birthday and New Year.
He didnt contact me then but he called me shortly after New Year telling me it was hard for him to call me cuz he needed to adjust to this new lifestyle. That I was the perfect girl but I just had trust issues. That maybe when he comes back we can pick up we're we left off but he couldnt promise me nada. We spoke for an hour, and he ended the conversation with Thank You you made my day. The only thing I miss about home is YOU and I wasnt happy I needed to get away and take charge of my life. That he missed being with me and that he'd try to call me soon but meanwhile I can reach him - he has his cell phone. I told him I was just so happy to hear his voice and that I loved him...and he told me...I didnt expect to hear that but you know that deep down I love you too...we kissed each other good night and said ''take care''. I asked him if I was single now, and he told me I dont like to label things I dont want to tell you what to do, but I cant tell you we're together either, just do your thing, Ill do mine, and then we'll see - we'll be more ready and capable to make such a move.
A couple of days later, his friend on facebook posted pictures about his ''bday''. He doesnt have facebook anymore him. I tried not to make much of it - thinking maybe he went out b4 he leaves to Europe.
I couldnt shake it...and by reading the comments I found out it was a Friday. I knew which club so I went and looked at the ''club'' pictures for every Friday of December, and there he was...It was a XMAS after his message that he was gone and there...
I WAS SHOCKED - and I still am. I dont understand...
Im not looking to get back - Im just looking to know from YOUR point of view why would he ever lie to me about something so big......and keep telling me ''I have trust issues''.
I cried a lot and was pretty mad - but I find myself stll loving him and wanting a logical explanation.
I didnt talk to him since...nor did I confront him...
I want to confront him but Im just scared he'll turn it around...So I didnt do anything...How can I everconfront him......its not like the ''club'' site made a mistake with the dates...at this point...Ill only believe his passport.......!! =( =( =(
Will he ever call me again??? How do I deal with this......Its been a month Ive been keeping quiet and he didnt call me either - maybe he thinks I know or maybe he doesnt care - I cant stop thinkng of him - even if Im on a date with someone else....WHAT DO I DO
Don't call him ever again. There is no excuse for what he did and lie about it too. He obviously doesn't care about your needs and feelings. Why torment yourself over this loser. I know you still love him, but let it go... it's time.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com