What does he want from me?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Hello. I am in a very confused situation, and I would really appreciate if you could help me. A year ago I started communicating with a guy online, and we "clicked". He lives in a different country. We exchanged long letters, he phoned me, we talked over Skype, sent each other sweets by train, etc. He promised me that he would come and visit me. This hasn't happened so far, and I think it's because of visa (Really, our countries diplomatic relations are very bad, and it's much easier for me to get to his country), so I am going to visit him in March. But i've noticed that he has withdrawn a bit recently, he is still affectionate, but doesn't phone me as such, and about a week ago he told me that he had had uncommited sex with a girl. He said such thing COULD HAPPEN! Yes, I know, it's stupid, we haven't even met in real life, but after such a close communication he has really become a part of my life. I will be visiting him so soon, and this terrible thing happened(. I got really upset, and I ended it with him and asked to leave me alone, but he contacted me in two days. he said, he didn't want me to be angry at him, he couldn't sleep and was upset as well, so we communicate again. I know I am not even his girlfriend yet, that's why I forgave him, but, oh God, I don't even know how to behave when I meet him, he probably also expects to have sex with me and dump me (but I won't have sex with him anyway). He is generally a nice person, helps me a lot, but he really hurt me. Also, despite having lots of acquaintances, he seems quite lonely, if he attaches himself to a girl via internet from another country. Very depressing. How could I behave? Thanks)
What he expects from you is sex. If he doesn't get it he will probably be unhappy.
You should discuss this with him and see if I'm right. If I'm right you probably should cancel your trip... even if you can't get your money back.
Another plan is to discuss it with him and if he says he will be unhappy and convinces you that he is telling the truth then tell him you have changed your mind and you will have sex with him. If you are a virgin and want to stay one then you can't change your mind.
Your problem is difficult, but not that unusual.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com