He Had his Ex's Picture on his Cellphone
Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
I recently found a picture of a girl in my boyfriend's mobile phone. I asked him who it was and he told me it was his brother's girlfriend. It did not look like her, but it looks more like his ex-girlfriend. He keeps on denying it and said that he could ask his brother's girlfriend if I want.
He erased the picture so I don't know what to do now. Should I just believe him and move on?
This is one of those fine line situations. On one hand a relationship is about trust and honesty, and you should trust him and not hound him jealously about things. If you keep going after him about things, it will drive you two apart.
On the other hand, since relationships are supposed to be about trust and honesty, if he really is carrying around a photo of his ex on his phone he should just tell you that and say he likes it as a memento of her. Heck, most of us have exs that we still are friends with, it's a normal part of life. For him to lie about and cover up the photo is a sign that he isn't being honest with you and is hiding things from you, which is not good at all.
It was your boyfriend's phone, I'm not sure why his brother's girlfriend's picture should be on there, unless he lends his phone to his brother sometimes. She would know if she had her photo taken by the phone (I assume the photo was one of those camera-in-phone pictures that was taken by the phone itself). I would get her number - she must be in the phone book - and call her and ask her if she had her picture taken recently by the phone in question. I have to bet she says no.
Then sit down with you boyfriend and say look, it's not about the photo. We all have photos of old boyfriends/girlfriends that we don't burn when we end the relationship! But why did you not trust me with the truth. Something relatively stupid like a photo is a little thing. But if you can't trust him to tell you the truth about a photo - how can you trust him to be honest with you about the far more serious things that happen in relationships?
-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com