Getting Over my Ex

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
hello, i would really appreciate it if u can give me some advice. im 19 and bisexual. i moved out to live with a female friend (just friend) about 2 years ago. about 4 months into the friendship we went on a nite out and i kissed a girl for the first time, i told her about it and about 3 weeks later she sed she wanted to try it purely out of curiousity, i agreed, i didnt find my friend attractive but did it for her. after about the 4th time i realised i liked her, a lot. at first she sed she couldnt do anything more than kiss me, she sed she couldnt kiss me unless she was drunk, she sed she would never have a relationship with a girl and she didnt fancy me. i thought she was in denial and told her exactly how i felt. 9 months on and we have done everything in a basic lesbian relationship (although we never officially were a couple), drunk or not. i asked her out numerous times, she sed she would give it a try but it was only a matter of days before she ended it after she sed it didnt feel right to her. each time she left me heartbroken and i pleaded with her not to do it agen to me.i dont think ive ever been in love with her even though i have never felt so strongly about anyone in my life before.

anyway 4 weeks ago she fell out with me and i moved out, she fell out with me over many reasons: she felt i wouldnt let her see her friends and she says she found something out but she wont tell me what it is.

we have seen each other since the fall out and got on fine. we were best mates, we had such a bond, we thought the same things and took the words out of each others mouths constantly (thats before we fell out).

every morning i wake up thinkin about her, i often have a cry and go through feelings of guilt/loneliness/self hate and then i feel i can manage on my own.

can u give me any advice to get her out of my system anything at all, she has moved on and she has been all over men (again before we fell out) right infront of my eyes before.

i know i am better off without her but its so difficult to stop thinking and feeling. my friends say im obsessed. Advice
It's always hard to get over an ex, whether it's male or female or a same-sex relationship. There are always feelings of anger and guilt and sadness and pain. It really seems that this was just not a good match between you two, if it was always so difficult for her to get along in it. It's not right or wrong, it's just the way things are. Sometimes two people just don't match up for whatever reason.

I have a lot of tips on getting over a relationship here -

it can easily take many months to get through it fully so don't push yourself. Your friends might not have been in a serious relationship before if they think it's easy to just get over someone. It's very hard! Give yourself time, take care of yourself and take it slowly. After a while it'll get much easier and then you'll find someone who is truly great for you. You'll look back on this girl as a nice person, but someone who just wasn't right. And you'll be incredibly happy with the new, well matched person you find.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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