15 YRS TOGETHER & I WANT HER BACK
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
FIRST I SHOULD START BY SAYING THAT I AM A WOMAN AND SO IS MY EX. MY EX AND I ACTUALLY DATED/LIVED TOGETHER FOR 13 YRS. WE BROKE UP 2 1/2 YRS AGO. HOWEVER, WE HAVE TALKED EVERYDAY AND EVEN BEEN INTIMATE. I AM STILL VERY MUCH IN LOVE WITH THIS WOMAN AND HAVE TOLD HER SO REPEATEDLY.SHE IS CURRENTLY DATING SOMEONE. WITHIN THE LAST MONTH, I TOLD MY EX THAT I WANTED TO GET BACK TOGETHER BUT SHE KEPT GIVING ME THE RUN AROUND. SO, I TOLD HER THAT I COULDN'T HANDLE KNOWING THAT SHE WAS WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND CONTINUE TO TALK TO HER. SO, I STOPPED CALLING HER AND STOPPED VISITING HER. HOWEVER, SHE WON'T STOP CALLING OR COMING TO MY HOUSE. SHE SAYS SHE VALUES OUR FRIENDSHIP AND SHE DOESN'T WANT TO STOP BEING FRIENDS AND TALKING. I HAVE EXPLAINED MY FEELINGS BUT SHE WON'T LISTEN AND I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT I LOVE HEARING HER VOICE AND GETTING THE CALLS WHICH IS WHY I END UP ANSWERING THE PHONE. BUT I WANT MORE THAN JUST A FRIENDSHIP AND I CANNOT HELP LOVING HER. WHAT SHOULD I DO? AM I BEING STUPID?
My advice is to continue doing what you are doing. See her and talk with her as friends (or more). You had something going for 13 years and she obviously still enjoys your company. There is always the chance that your romance will spark again.
You may be stupid to do this, but you cannot help loving her and what else can you do. You tried separating completely but that didn't work.
If you are determined to put an end to the relationship, of course you can do it by refusing to have communications with her and stick to your guns. This would be quite painful.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com