Should I stay or should I go?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I met this guy on the internet. I am 27 and he is 20. We talked on the internet for 3 months before we decided to meet each other. I wasn't sure about it but I thought I would. He is in the military and it is hard to see each other sometimes but we always try to find a way. He asked me to marry him. I said yes. He says he wants to give me a life. I've been through Hell and back since I was 8 months old so he says I deserve a good life. Don't get me wrong it does sound a little crazy I know. He is so sweet and nice to me until he gets into his trust issues and jealousy. We get along for me most part but he is always thinking I am out cheating on him. I know that it is hard having a long distant relationship don't get me wrong. He is stationed almost 7 hours away from me. I do understand why it is hard. It seems like everything I do though he thinks I am out seeing someone or looking one. It doesn't matter what I do. At times I have thought he might be guilty of something. He has told me that he has been cheated on in almost all of his relationships. His mom has cheated and other family members of his have too. I know that can affect things. I tell him all the time that there comes a point in life when you let the past stay where it is. Just because others have done it doesn't mean everyone does. I have never cheated on him or given him any reason to think that. He is jealous over males and females. It seems to be getting worse and worse. Everyday it becomes all he wants to talk about. When he is out away from home on deployments and on the computer he acts like he is rushing to get off of the computer by getting mad, starting fusses and blaming me. Then he tells me I am cheating and I don't care. Sometimes I think to myself it is no wonder they cheated on him if he did the same thing to them he is doing to me. He just ran the away I guess. Idk. What I need to know is if I should stay and try to help him and us or should I go and let him go before it ruins me. Can you please tell me what you think I should do. Sorry if this is long! Please help!
He seems to be quite immature and not very smart. As you said, he is chasing his girlfriends off with his accusations. He is chasing you off.
He needs some tough love. Whenever he brings up the subject of cheating just cut him off. If you're on the phone say "Goodbye. I am not going to argue about cheating." Then hang up. You can give him advance warning that you are going to take this direction so he isn't surprised. Do the same online.
If this doesn't work then drop him and wait until he grows up. You certainly don't want to marry someone with these hangups.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com