Can we make it work?
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
I have had a tough couple of weeks. Ive always liked this girl in a serious way but it has become more so recently.
I was going away for a week and we would keep saying how we would miss one another and just before I left she gave me a real big hug. We constantly texted while I was on the coach. I actually almost didnt want to go at this point.
Before the trip we could always talk to each other as friends, but there always seemed to be something different when we spoke.
As what I thought she considered a friendship, she would tend to hug me, but one time her friends went 'awwwwww' and she seemed really embarassed. I hadn't noticed that before.
While on the trip it got out that I really liked her, and one of my 'friends' told people over the phone. When I got back, I had a real hard time of people saying 'so, you going to ask her out?' I told my close friends that I was thinking about it. One of the freinds was the same one who told everyone, and I thought I could trust him.
On the way home from school I got a call from one of my other friends saying that he and others (including the earlier mentioned one) had followed her home saying 'are you going to say yes then?' She knew I was thinking of asking her out and she replied to them 'well I'll let him know,' and according to them she made it seem like it was a yes.
The last day of the school week I decided I would do it, seeing as she, and everyone else knew. The start of the day I simply said 'we really need to talk don't we?' She suggested we shouldn't in lesson but at break time on our own. We get to that time and I came out with it 'you've probably heard, but I really like you,' people are looking at this point so we move outside. She then says 'I like you too, and you're a nice guy, but at the minute people are making me feel too awkward at the minute, I really don't know, I really wouldn't want to lose a good friend.' When I ask how she felt about me personally she said 'i do really like you, but I don't know.'
I ask her 'should we leave it for a while, let things die down and maybe it could work later?' and she says 'yes thanks, I'd like that.'
We go our seperate ways and later that day I ask if shes okay to which she says 'yeah.' Later on though, I hear the stupid friend who had ruined it (twice) say 'oh you've broke his heart you have.' I can see she is saddened by this and have told him to leave her alone.
I haven't spoken to her since, and I am feeling real heartache. I may only be 16, but this feels like true love. What I want to know is, did she mean what she said? Does she want to take it slow, and let things die down for now? Would you suggest in a month or so I quietly tell her, and her alone, 'want to go to the cinema?' All I've thought about was 'I don't want her to have been scared away and that what she said was just a gentle 'no.' Sorry for the length of my question, but I felt the whole story needed to be told for you to understand. Thanks.
Talk to her again as soon as possible and say that you still like her and will talk to her in a week or so. But the main thing to say is that she should ignore what other people are saying to her. Second hand information is very unreliable.
Then, in two weeks, ask her to go out.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com