Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
I have been writing in over the last year or 2. I am 34 and was the guy in love with the 29 year old shy woman.
Well a month ago the friendship I was trying to start with her after our breif relationship ended in late 2006, ended very badly. I had saw her again, and I asked her if she wanted to hang out again. She said ok, and that I should call the next week to plan something. The next week came I called, left a message, and she returned my call a few hours later telling me that it was not ok, and that she spends all her time alone and on her own. She said she only will talk to a few people she feels comfortable with.
She told me I am a really nice person, and she knows we have allot in common. She told me that when I see her she wants me to wave to her and say hello, and talk to her.
What is this? I feel like I am being pulled in 2 directions. One minute she doesnt like me, then she does?
On the phone she was kind of rude, and insulting just a week after we talked in person. At the end of the call I was shocked, and shaken. I wished her good luck, and she did not answer. I said good bye, and she said see ya. That was it. A few hours later I sent her an e-mail stating that I would never bother her again, and never wave or say hello. I told her she needs help too. I was hurt by her basically wasting my time. I sent the e-mail to her, and I know that she read it. I got a read receipt back. I am devastated, and my heart is broken. Loosing her once after the dating relationship, and then a second time trying to only be her friend. Are there psychological or personality problems here? Is it depression? I know that her job is not stable, however there seems to be unstable things in every area of her life. Spending all her time alone????
How can a person do this? What am I going to do now. I have to be the unluckiest person in the world to loose a person twice. Please give any advice you can and thanks!
Sorry you are in this situation.
Something is wrong with her. Once before you wrote that her father never says anything and clearly she has inherited this behavior. He may be controlling her and told her she couldn't hang out with you.
You should write her an apology and say that you will wave, say hello, and talk to her. Perhaps you could become one of those people she feels comfortable with. She encouraged you to do it.
You need to reduce your expectations of having an amorous relationship. If it is going to happen it will probably take a long, long time. Meanwhile time is passing you by. Perhaps it is time for you to set your eyes on some other woman.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com