Hot then cold
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I have been dating this guy for over a month but the entire time it has been long distance. We met through my ex-boss (his sister) when he was in town and we got to know each other over email, phone, and texting. I went to visit him and we had a great time and he said he was going to miss me and that I should stay. We are both in graduate school and finishing up in January. Up until a week ago, he texted me every morning with something sweet and then we would text during the day and talk on the phone at night. Things were great and then he just started backing off. He still texts me all day but it's mostly to vent or to tell me something random, like what the weather is like. We talk on the phone every other day now for about 20 minutes. He used to say 'sweetie' or 'babe' but that has stopped too. He mostly tells me about his day and doesn't ask me about mine anymore. I know he has a huge project and several tests these next couple of weeks. Could this be the way he handles stress? He's coming into town tomorrow and hasn't mentioned any plans with me. I don't know what I should do because it was so sudden. Any suggestions for this behavior? I have laid back and haven't pushed him for answers.
You are taking the right approach for the time being. It sounds like he is under a lot of pressure and doesn't have time to properly deal with you now.
Make sure that he understands that you still care for him and support him... he needs that reassurance.
However, make a mental note that this is how he behaves under pressure and do you want to deal with this sort of person for any lengthy period of time?
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com