What do I do?
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years. It was always a long distance relationship, we talked on the phone all the time and I drove to see her every month or so. Starting this last year, she got a job, and things changed. She never seemed to have time to talk to me, and spent all of her time at work. I tend to be a jealous person, so this was hard for me. At the end of August, I finally transferred colleges to be in the same town as her. Almost as soon as I got there, she started acting weird, and distant. She wouldn't even come to see me when I was in the same town, which really hurt my feelings. My frustration with this led us into a fight, and the next day she broke up with me. When I tried to talk to her about it. After a week, she finally confessed that she had already been with someone else and didn't want me back. I fought long and hard, and finally got her to give me another chance to prove myself. So after a week of us trying again, she broke it off again. During this break up, I end up finding out (not from her, from him) that she has been with this guy that was supposedly new, since about a month before I even moved in. She also confessed that she cheated on me before him, slept with a guy from the mall 3 times. I was ready to end it. I hated her. Apparently she hadn't told the other guy that she had given me another chance, so I told her she needed to confess that to him, and that she slept with me once during that period. She did, and the guy told her they would talk the next day. Then she called me that night, broke down and said that I was too good for her, that she had tried to sabotage our relationship because she felt like she didn't deserve me. This made me really worry about her and I talked to her and cheered her up. Through this process, I realized that I still cared about her and loved her. I told her that I did, and she said she was too confused to say it back. She called me the next morning, I said it again, and she said "I love you too, sweetheart." So I'm thinking we might still have a chance. Then, like 5 hours later, I tried to call her and she told me she never wanted to speak to me again, and she wanted to be with him. She hasn't really spoken to me since then. I feel like she just used me as a shoulder to cry on, but I know that I still care about her, and I'm kind of worried that she is too confused to be making any major decisions right now. She has cut off all communication with me now, so I don't know how she really feels. I still want her back, but I don't know if it is still worth trying for. What do you think?
Sorry you are in this situation.
One solution that comes to mind is for you to contact her, somehow, and ask if you can call once every two weeks just to see how she is doing. If she agrees, and she probably will, be there as someone for her to talk to. If she wants to come back, you need to have the communication lines open.
This isn't a very aggressive plan, so be patient and hope for the best.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com