why did she do this to me?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
three weeks ago the love of my life called me out of the blew and said she has been thinking and doesnt think we should be together anymore, and hung up the phone and shut it off. well i gave her the night because i was absoulutely devaststed and felt like my whole world had just ended. the next day i drove 3 hours back home and dropped off a letter for her and hopfully i would get a chance to see her in person and talk this out. well when i got there i left the letter in her horse trailer so she would get it and i called her all day. finally i called her moms phone and she answered i said whats is going on here? she replied and said she couldnt see herself marrying me and she started crying really hard, i asked her to please stop crying so we could talk this out and she said she had to go because when she heres my voice it makes her cry, so she hung up. i tried calling the phone back and her mom answered and said " do not call .... anymore" and hung up on me. so i gave it two weeks to the day without even trying to contact her at all hoping she just nedded some space and she would try to call me and give me an explantion when she felt a little better. well i called her after two weeks and she did not answer or call back i have heard nothing. this whole relationship was so perfedct we got along so good we were best friends and did eveything together.she ahs told me several times that i am everything she has ever wanted and she is so lucky tohave found me. she said and showed me so much love and caare right up until the day she ended it.the night before she said she loved me and couldnt wait to see me the fallowing day and said she would see me tommorrow. two days befroe she spent the night with me and when i was leaving for work she was crying because she nissed me so bad and didnt want me to go. when i say our relationship was perfect it was really good we got along really well. we did have our differences but we were always ablee to talk them out. i have really put alot of thought into this whole thing and i cannot come up with a reasonable explanation for her doing this. we loved eachother very much, there were no signs. i was really sensative and understand ing about how she felt, i always knew when somthing was bothering her and i would always try to make it better. the only thing that it could be is the fact that her mom and sister put alot of pressure on her for being with me. they were so jealous that we were so happy. they were so mean to her when i came back to town on the weekends. she always told me that they put her in the decision so that she would have to choose between us or make time for both of us. i never did anything besides help her and her family with everything, i mean everything. she wanted a horese so i built some fences for her to put a horse inn, i drove all the way to south dakota and picked up a horse for her. i used to come back to town on the weekends and walk beside her for miles so she could ride her horse out on the trial, so she wasnt alone.i went and got two tons of hay for her horse so it could eat. i did everything for her and her family just to see her happy. her sister always had somthing against me and i do not know why, even my ex said it was bs beacuse i tried so hard to make her happy i put on a big birthday party for her with all my friends because she didnt know anyone in town. she always said that she was so proud to have me and that she couldnt believe that she found a guy like me and that i would put up with her family to. it really was like dating her whole family but i always told her i would do anything to be with her. you may get the empression that i was a push over but i wasnt i always stood up for what i thought and she loved that about me. i am currently doing an internship out of town and i have not seen her in 4 weeks, i will be going back to college on the 19th and i dont know what to expect, i love her so much. how could she have done this all of a sudden ? she is 25 and i think from my previous relationships this is really imature, to not even give some sort of an explanation rather than a simple i cant marry you. we werent even thinking of getting marryed for atleast four years. and the only time we ever talked about it she asked me if i wanted to marry her some day and i said yes. everything we had in that town we had together niether of us want to be there but we had eachother and we were going to both be done with school at the same time. she had been telling her parents that her and i were going to move wherever we could get jobs together next year. we had been together for 8 months, and this was a real relationship tht both of us put alot of time and effort into. is there hope that she really doesnt know what she dis? i was her first real relationship who shee loved. please give advice i do not know what to do or think i dont want to push her away and i just want to work this out she is my everything.
You were only with her for eight months, so it wasn't a long term relationship. You found it rewarding and you put a lot into it. But her family was not supportive and that may have been the reason. She also may not have felt as close as you did and she felt guilty about that.
Try calling her mother or sister and ask them to explain whey she broke up with you. Tell them you will stop pursuing her if they will give you some peace of mind.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com