How to win her back when she says she doesn't want to be together

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
We were on and off foe almost 3 years. I ended up talking to other ppl (dating/Sleeping) whenever we split and she holds a grudge. I messed up BIG, I know this...I want to prove to her that this is the "REAL DEAL". She keeps saying it's the same thing and nothing will change, that there isn't really anything there. I think there is though, she is evil and cold when she's hurt. She doesn't want to give me the chance. She's convinced that it won't work and it kills me. She says that she doesn't want to try now and unsure of in the future. I can't expect things to be different over night, but I know how I feel and what I'm willing to do. I have told her this. I'm even going to counselling to help myself and the situation. If she could drop her negative attitude and let me in I know it would work with effort from both of us. She says to give her space but my "MAN EARS" don't know quite what that means... I want her to know that I care and will be there for her and our daughter. This has to work. I want to make her my princess and feel like she is just that. I'm committed more than ever, I just think it maybe tooo late. How can I swing the vote? I love her and want to grow old with this woman. I have been good and not doing anything with anyone. I told her that i'd wait for her and have been trying to show her i'm serious about everything. She tells me she doesn't want to be with me but we went out last week and had a great time. We talked a couple of times in the week and thought everything was good. What does this mean? then we got in another fight and she said this is why we're not together. It's always something new. I had suspicions of her sleeping with someone else, but she denies it. (Found stains on her sheets, not from me and she's been talking to a guy she says she's not interested in like that. She seems to use me for things and even hang out but I don't understand because she doesn't even let me hold her hand or kiss her. Advice
Sorry you are in this situation. She seems to be very mixed up.

My advice is to take her to counseling with you.

Also, go out with her again like when you had a great time. But don't get into stupid fights... that is a losing proposition, for sure.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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