Getting the Intimacy Back

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend and I use to have a GREAT sex life. Until we got in a wreck back in June of this year. I broke my elbow and had to have metal pins put in it. And I had to sleep on the couch for a month and a half.

Well the other night we tried to make love but neither one of us could get into it. So we just turned our backs to one another and went to sleep. Can you help? Advice
Just ask any couple who is trying desperately to conceive a child and is having sex on a schedule. Any time you try to 'force' sex you are going to have trouble. If it becomes an issue of stress and concern, it takes away the whole romantic mood and becomes a "task" that you have to "get through". Undoubtedly he's just as concerned about this as you are!

I have tips on intimacy here -

In essence you have to make it fun again. Sex isn't about a serious task of doing X and Y right. It's about two people just having fun with each other. So don't make it serious. Start giving him slow, leisurely backrubs without any other expectations. Wear fun clothing that is thin and clingy. Get some strawberries, chocolate and whipped cream and put some on your belly for him (or visa versa). Don't go into it with a "We Must Have Sex" attitude. Just have a "We Will Have Fun!!" attitude and whatever you do will be fine. Maybe sometimes you'll have sex. Maybe sometimes you won't! It's all about the fun together and the comfort with each other.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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