Coming out/ going further

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
I am a 16 year old, lesbian teenager, and I am very in love with my girlfriend who is 18.
Its not a trend relationship, no one really knows, and we dont display affection all over the place, nor do we have sex.
My parents are very close minded and I have been told on previous occasions that I am not allowed to be gay and that i will be kicked out or my love will be banned, or that I will be sent away. SO i DO NOT plan on telling them any time soon, but when I do I would like to know what the best way would be...

Second question: My girlfriend and I have never gone further then the occasional breast fondling. I have given 110% consent and am totally up for it, and she never pushed me. In fact, I was the one who instigated it. but last night, I lowered my hand to the top of her pubic hair and wanted to go much further. I was very excited, as was she, but I was very afraid of hurting her. She was molested when she was five and I was raped when I was 12. I just want to know how I can assure that she wont be hurt and that I can prove that i dont just want her for sex. I appreciate her affection and I respect her boundaries, because I truely love her.
We are currently engaged and plan on getting married after I graduate highschool in a year and a half. =]
Thanks much! Advice
So many things can change in the next year and a half, it wouldn't be much use trying to figure out how to break the news to them now. By then, the words will probably come out from your feelings.

From what you have told me, it is clear to her how you feel and how she feels. Tell her that you love her and have no intention of hurting her. Ask her if it is ok each step of the way. If she says yes then proceed.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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