I think im going insane
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Three years ago I met a boy and the moment I saw him time stopped. Seriously. I felt what the movies describe but it was so much more amazing. I was sixteen and depressed and he seemed to take all the sadness away. I ended up moving out of my house and in with his family down the street from him... big mistake because... my dad was soo mad. I loved being so close to him. I was going thru a lot of stuff at this point taking medication for bi polar disorder and depressing and birth control that really messed me up. I put him thru hell... but he has always stayed my best friend. I tell him my soul things I have never told anyone. He gives me courage and makes me feel untouchable. Well in two complicated messed up circumstances (I flew off the handel and said I was thinking about breaking up with him, I moved 30 miles away and he thaught we would never see eachother) he cheated on me and we broke up. The last (final time) was over a year ago and since then I have been in a serious (he baught a ring) relationship with a great guy but broke up like three times to go back to my first. One time he slept with another girl and i did stuff with my first. since then we have become stronger... and he is amazingly sweet does everything and anything i ever asked and more but in my heart i still love my best and closest friend. I dont know what to do i feel the spark between my current love is gone and he will never compare to my first. I still talk to my first as often as possilbe about nothing but i feel happy when i do. He told me if i wasnt in this relationship then we could try again because he feels the same. What advice can you give me. I am with a man who is a bit older and has experienced things i havent but who loves me i know becuase he looks at me the way i look at my first love. And i admire the man my first has become and the friendship that grows stronger every day. Who would be best? How can i break up with or get over one of them?
If you really think you are going insane, you should find medical assistance as soon as possible. This is not something to take lightly.
Concerning the dilemma you are in: only you can figure out which one of the men you should choose. It seems to me that you are in love with your first love and admire him. You say your new love looks at you the way you looked at your first love. But, what is important is how you feel.
Whatever you decide, my advice is to talk with your new love and tell him the situation you are in. If he loves you he will talk gently with you and try to help you understand yourself. If he only thinks of himself then he doesn't love you after all and you should break with him.
Before you do any of this, however, consider the rocky times you have had with your first love and whether you want to go through that again.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com