Stay with Current or Return to Ex?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
A summer ago, I was became boyfriend with a guy who was my friend. But before summer ended, he broke my heart. He just wasn't interested in me anymore. Well I wanted to break his heart but after awhile, we just stayed friends.

When I started school this year, I found out that his friend liked me and was trying to break us up when we were going out. Anyway, I asked my ex if it was alright to go out with his friend and he said okay. I liked his friend but not like I loved my ex. Anyway, they barely talk to eachother and I feel like its my fault. And me and my ex were started not talking to eachother.

Then yesterday, we were talking on the phone and well it got sort of personal. I mean, I started having feelings for him again. I still love my ex. And he told me he loved me. But I don't want to cheat on my boyfriend. I'm trying to give my boyfriend a chance since we're going slow.

What should I do? Break up with my boyfriend or stay with him? Advice
The moment you start playing the game of break-up-to-get-another-guy you are getting yourself into a trouble situation. There is always going to be someone smarter or richer or handsomer or so on. If you just start abandoning current partners to go try for another one, you will never be happy. Because it will never end.

The purpose of being in a relationship is to work 100% on that relationship, honor and respect that other person and see how things work between you two. If they don't work, that's fine, you break up and try someone else. That is what dating is about, trying out people to see which work well for you. But you have to TRY. You can't just abandon because you want to try something new without even working on the current relationship. If you keep that up, you'll never stay with anyone, and will end up alone.

So I would try to make things work with the current guy. If they do, great! You'll be happy. If they don't you still know that you tried your best, and you part ways. Once you're single again, you can decide what to do next.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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