I'm sleeping with my ex-boyfriend, and I just got engaged.Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
About a year ago, I started dating my current boyfriend. After about 6 months, I was more than certain that I had found "the one." Well, that is approximately the time that my ex-boyfriend and I stumbled (literally stumbled) into each other at a bar. This was not just any old ex boyfriend, but this was my first "the one", my former Mr. Right, if you will. We'd dated for a few years but there always seemed to be something getting in the way of our relationship so we eventually and inevitably broke up.
Anyway, I digress. Back at the bar, we spent a few hours and a few pitchers getting reacquainted, then back at his place, we spent a few more hours get "reacquainted" (if you smell what I'm stepping in...). Over the next few weeks, we'd "accidentally" run into each other a few times every week at the bar, then again, "catch up on old times" back at his place. More and more, we started to meet secretly, and we have been for the last six months. It's great, and he accepts the challenges of working around my other relationship, as do I for him.
However, a few weeks ago, my actual boyfriend proposed. And I (obviously) have never been much good at saying no to anyone for anything, so I said yes. Now that I have this ring on my finger, I feel as though my fiance may as well have made it handcuffs for that i how it emotionally binds me. I have to take it off whenever my ex and I make love. Another added problem is that the few times that I actually spend the time with my ex talking, all we talk about is how we long to be with only each other. I'm getting married in 3 months and really need some guidance on how I can continue my double life without losing the security I get from one, and passion I feel for the other.
You really have to make up your mind.
Say yes to one and say goodbye to the other. Nobody is going to be completely happy about this. My advice is to let your fiance know what is going on and discuss with him what is to be done. If he drops you then the decision is made for you. If he wants to keep you then you still have to make up your mind.
Some of the world's greatest literature, Anna Karenina, for example are made of the elements of love that you face. Usually in literature the woman is married when this happens. The results are not good. Save yourself the anguish you and others will suffer if you don't get this taken care of now.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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