I messed up and i want her back
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My ex and i were together for 20 months, it's not very long neither was it very short too. It was the absolute best moments of my life, but towards the last 2 months things have been getting rocky. She said she couldn't stand my behaviour anymore for being insensitive to her friends and controlling her lifestyle. I tried arguing with her about it and then after reading all the ebooks i realised i pushed her further away.
The trigger came when i logged in her mail to see what's happening in her life. I saw pictures of her and another guy intimately close, i confronted her about it. It was then she said to end the relationship because she couldn't trust me anymore.
They were just friends, and i was over reacting.
After the breakup i was terribly depressed and did everything an emotion-wrecked person would. Begging, pleading,telling her i will change,sending flowers/poems, blaming,saying things i regretted saying and asking for second chances. She wouldn't. She said she sees no hope anymore for the 2 of us and she's happier the way she is. It's been a month now, and she's already seeing someone else who's actually my friend. I feel betrayed by him. We're now pretty much not on talking terms. She's ignoring my calls unless it's something practical like getting her stuff back. Our last conversation was pretty much like a closure, I told her i wish her all the best with her new bf, and that i'll be there for her if she ever needs me. She said she will be too. And then i said i hope our hearts will meet again, which she didn't respond to it but just said take care of myself. Then finally i told her i'll catch up with her someday, she said sure, she will too.
I needed to keep a distance from her because seeing her or talking to her again in my emotional state now will just send my emotions fluctuating.
I asked myself whether i want her back because i cannot stand being alone or because i truly love her and want to make things right again. It's the latter.
I want her back, but i just don't know how. She's probably still hurt by me, i know. I've decided to give it another few months break for me to heal, and then try pursuing her again, but i'm afraid that i'll be too late by then as in she'll be in a serious relationship with that guy already.
Plus I don't think we'll have a chance for just the 2 of us to meet up because she's always with her friends or the boyfriend or work. What should i do really?? How can i win her trust back? She doesn't mind being friends but i want more than friendship. I just can't think positively anymore.
Sorry you are in this situation.
Things are looking pretty grim. She has told you point blank that she wants to be your friend but nothing more. What more is there to do? You already tried everything a person could try.
You can give her two more months and try again, but don't put too much hope into it. She sounds pretty sure of herself.
You are right, though, that waiting two months is a good idea.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com