I don't know what to do, please help me.
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
My gf of 8 years has just broken up with me. Over our time together this is the third time she has broken up with me. Each time we end up getting back together in about a max of 3 months. Up to about two weeks is as long as we have gone without speaking. When she broke up with me this last time I had to move out of our apartment. A few weeks went by and we started talking again. We went on dates and stuff to reinvent our relationship. She was the one calling me all the time and texting and asking me to come over. We both stated how we were happy and how we missed each other and how we were going to fix this. We never really had big problems, just bickering from time to time. Her only problem with me is that I don't have the big job right now. I have a year of school left and more school on the way. I am going to be a fireman/paramedic. She made a comment to me that she doesn't know where she sees us in 5 years. I have told her my plans with her and was going to propose in the next year. Of course money is tight with us right now. She has her job and im working/finishing up school. In a span of 4 days it went from me being the best guy in the world to someone who she wasn't sure she wanted to be with. It came down to me telling her that I would give her the space she needed and not to call me unless it's about her wanting to be with me forever. Now she's doing the whole bar scene thing, talking about moving closer to her job(an hr away from me), and just acting like she doesn't care. I have always been there for her no matter what. I'm not saying im perfect but for the most part I treated her how every woman wants to be treated. We had a near perfect relationship and I just can't come to grips with this. She's said it herself numerous times so I just don't understand. I am trying to move on from this but I can't get her out of my head. Is she going through the same problem as me and feeling as bad? We're high school sweethearts and I envision us being together forever. I'm looking at this situation like she's never coming back just so I can start to heal. She hasn't had a real opportunity to actually miss me in my eyes because we were around/talking to each other so much. I'm just so confused and hurt right now I don't know what to do. I want to marry this girl but I can't bank on it. Everyone I've talked to or things I've read I can't find something to relate to me or us. Please help me and give me some insight. I'm trying to be strong but I can't right now. I just want to call her and be in each others arms again. I know its her move now. If she doesn't come back it will all feel like i've been living a lie all these years. We planned our futures together or at least I thought we did. sorry so long.
First off, let me compliment you on your perfectly composed and well expressed note. This is a good indication that you will do well in your career.
But you want some advice.
Maybe it's time to ask her to marry you. This may shock her out of her current attitude. Take the lead from her as to the details of the wedding etc.
Also, consider moving together half way between her job and your school. It is stressful for her to have to drive so much and gives her too much time to worry about things.
Hopefully things will clear up with her and you can be happy again.
I hope so! Good luck. George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com