Mending our relationship
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
My girlfriend and I were going out for just under a year. We were always very happy with eachother, like best friends. However i had some issuses with her going out with her friends without me. It wasnt that i didnt trust her, its just i felt like i had to be included, but i know thats not entirely true because she needs to be able to go out with just her girlfriends. But there has been occasions when ive been very stubborn with her and got into fights. But we have got through these in the past and forgiven eachother. Now recently shes been doing exams and is under a lot of pressure and stress to do well, and instead of taking a step back to let her got on with it, i was a jerk and put even more pressure on her to see me when she needs all the time she can get for her studies. I eventually realised this and tried to be more supportive, but it was too late, she had enough. She told me she wanted to break up because she needed time to herself, but she still wanted to be friends.
Firstly she said that her feelings for me changed, that she didnt love me the same way anymore. But a couple of days later she admitted that she did still have the same feelings for me, its just that she wasnt happy in herself and needed time to herself.
i know i have to give her that time now, but what can i do the give the relationship the best chances of mending. Its a week now since we broke up now and her exams have started. We hav been having nice conversations over text messages since, and im not being pushy or clingy anymore. Should i stop being the one to send the first msg, and wait for her to contact me? and after her exams (finished in 2-3 weeks) how can try to fix things?
Continue the chats and you can initiate them.
What she needs is a lot of time to herself to study for the exams.
So, your idea of not being pushy or clingy is perfect. You want her to think of you with good feelings.
Once she is done with exams, send her some flowers and ask her out for dinner as a celebration. Your relationship will probably pick up again.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com