Second thoughts during the date?
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
Hey guys, I had a date with this girl today and i think i'm having second thoughts
Lets give you guys some background information.
This girlfriend of mine (Martha), she had a crush on me since i first met her 3 years ago. The beginning of this week i thought i have feelings for her (prior to this, i'm attracted to this other girl, lets called her Julia)
Julia and i met online 2 years ago, i enjoyed talking to her online and it appears we go to the same school. Then we talked more and more online, eventually i noticed she starts changing and acting more and more snobby and sarcastic like the other people from my school. And eventually we stopped talking (notice that we never talked at skol)
Then this week all of a sudden i realise that i might have feelings for Martha, so i decided to ask her out after my exams are over. But during the exam i noticed Julia's smile (she practically sat right next to me) and i was like.....cool. After the exam i asked Martha out and she said yes
then the night before the date i couldn't sleep (nervous about first date lol) but then for some reason i thought about Julia and her smile for a while.
Then the next day (today) i went on my date with Martha, it felt weird because well she's not like the other girls i'm usually into (usually i fall for the spontaneous type and i found martha a lil boring, even she admitted she's boring. and i noticed she reminds me of my little sister a lot)
For sometimes during the date we wandered around because i'm trying to be a gentleman and let her pick somewhere to go, but she's so indecisive (again i usually like confidence in a girl)
So we ended up sitting down in various places and just talk...about some pretty random stuff (i thought i'm a random person, but the conversation is...well too random even for me)
During the date I kept thinking, did i do the right thing by asking her out? And we did hug and play around, also i flirts a little (after its a date) and seems like she enjoyed my company. But then when the date was about to end, i did a friendly hug thing as i'm not too sure about this date, then martha tried to kiss me, so we did a hug-kiss thing for a sec or two(like the ones in that movie 'Just friends')
I noticed she wants a kiss, so i kissed her and yea i admit she's a good kisser, but as i kiss her, it just feels weird, so i moved back and i think she's enjoying herself as she was trying to go on kissing (oh by the way, she did mention sex a few times during the date, i told her i want to keep it PG13 on the first date)
Then we said goodbye and i said 'take care' and blah blah. That kiss just felt weird, i enjoyed kissing in general but i feel like i'm doing the wrong thing, i feel slightly guilty about it
During the drive home, i was thinking....Am i doing the right thing by asking Martha out? Why am i having second thoughts during the date? Do i still have a crush on Julia? Maybe i have commitment issues? (as in my past experience, i don't usually go out with someone for too long)
I'm afraid that if i told Martha that i'm having second thoughts, i might break her heart. And i want a second opinion on this, thanks for reading this and helping me
Go out with Martha a few more times and see what happens.
You'll have a better idea then of what you want to do.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com