Non-Sexual Intimacy

Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
My boyfriend wants to do more, but I don't neccessarily want too. He's felt me up, and I liked it, but when he fingered me, it was a little uncomfortable. I sort of like it, but he wants to do it all the time. I want to learn how to be intimate without being sexual. How can I do this? Advice
The way to become intimate in a non-sexual way is through communication.

Affection (non-sexual), empathy, and discussion work well.

Affection means showing someone you like them by saying nice things to them, for example, about their intelligence, beauty, athleticism, honesty.

Empathy means to share emotions positively. Feeling the same way about things. Giving emotional support as needed.

Discussion is what it sounds like. This is being rational like plans for things to do, what's going on in the news, school events, etc.

All three of these will help you two bond and come closer to each other.

Explain these three things to your boyfriend and tell him that you enjoy the physical aspects of your relationship but you also strongly need some non-sexual contacts with him. Tell him the sexual contacts will feel better if you are closer together in other ways.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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