So afraid...

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
I've been seeing this girl for almost 7 months. It's been a bit of a roller coaster. The first 3 months were great, went pretty fast, we became really intimate, and then in December, she became very distant, cold, and finally in the beginning of January, she said she couldn't do it anymore. Couple weeks later, she came back, and we talked and decided to try it again, but slower. Apparently she was freaked out because she felt uncomfortable being physically intimate with a guy who wasn't officially her boyfriend, and she said she wasn't ready to have another relationship as she just got out of one before we met.

So, we've steadily been hanging out again, since the end of January. Everything has actually been going really, really well. We're getting closer, opening up to each other, and she's beginning to trust me. She's had huge trust issues as her last boyfriend was somewhat abusive. It's been going so well, that I tried to kiss her again, and she was totally up for it. I haven't really made out with her since December, and now she's letting me become close to her again in March.

So my question is: what am I supposed to do? I'm very, very afraid this time, as I don't want to go through another episode of her running away. The intimacy is much different, as she likes it now, and isn't pulling away. She's mentioned she's not ready for a relationship, yet we're getting so close. Would you suggest I continue what I'm doing, being there for her, trusting her, keeping communication? I guess I just need a little reassurance that I'm not wasting my time. I've even told her how I feel a little frightened, and she understands. Please I just need someone to say something to make it easier! Advice
You are doing exactly the right thing and I don't think you are wasting your time.

As long as she is responding to you physically there is a good chance things will work out fine. Make sure you are doing things that make her feel closer like dinners, movies, etc.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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