Old flame still burning or burnt out
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I've been friends with this guy for many many years and about 4 yrs ago we went out on and off and had great physical chemistry together. Unfortunately our schedules were so incompatible that it made it hard for us to form a more solid relationship. So we decided that the time wasn't right for us. So we went on with our lives and kept in touch and a year later we wanted to try again but then he got a job opportunity that required him to move so we didn't get our second chance. Well he moves and we still keep in touch for a while. Then I started seeing someone and around the same time, i hear for him and he tells me he is also starting to see someone. So we go on and lose touch for about a year and a half while persuing these other relationships. Well my relationship ends and he's still in his for a while but then one day we get back in touch and i find out he's not with his gf anymore. Well time goes on again and we are kindof in touch but not like we used to be with the flirty emails and constant contact. Well he has this get together every year at his place with a ton of people b/c he lives near a pretty awesome beach and he always invited me but i always had something that got in the way of me going. Well i write him to say hello and he writes me back and asks me if i'm going to come this year. I hadn't thought about it but i had no reason not to so i go down to his place for a weekend by myself with all these people i don't know and after not seeing him at all and having very little contact with him for about 2 yrs. I end up getting down there early and we get together and we got to talk and visit and he took me out to dinner and it was so nice. Then the rest of his friends get there and the partying begins. From that moment on I get the cold shoulder from him for the rest of the weekend. He wasn't mean or rude but he was just very non chalant....no emotion..nothing. This confused me very much and made me feel very awkward. In a way I felt like i had done something wrong but i don't know what b/c i hardly got to see him for the rest of the weekend and when i did it was just blank. No emotions, no anything just what i felt to be a cold shoulder. The only thing i could figure is maybe he's trying to get together with someone else and me being there was getting in the way but he in no way indicated he was seeing or trying to see someone. I don't even know if i should write him or stay in touch with him or anything like that b/c things felt so awkward but i don't want to lose his friendship either. Will you please give me your opinion on this situation? What could have happened to make him shut off like that?
Some people lose their normal feelings when in the midst of a crowd. Nothing happened that would change how he felt about you unless he wanted to sleep with you and was disappointed (not that that is a good excuse).
It was rude and inconsiderate of him to ignore you especially since you didn't really know anyone else.
My advice is to drop contact with him because you don't need to be friends with someone who would treat you like that. Lights out.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com