trying to understand how to figure this all out

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Iíve been friends with this guy for the last 7 months. Weíve been spending more time together lately and its basically been developing into something more.Our big issue has been the religious differences and so I initally turned him down because I didnt think that he would get it. When I told him that he said thats fine and he wouldnt be insulted if I went out with anyone else- except he would get annoyed when im talking to other guys.

Anyway I thought about it and came to the conclusion that maybe this is a risk worth taking and we went out on a real date and talked about everything..

Until last week he would do all these really great things like just send an sms to say hi or walk me to my car everyday etc. The thing that has me all confused is one minute he was talking about how he wants to get to me and how he wants to have a future and a family with me and how our age gap is perfect. His friends always keep asking about him meeting my family and of he's the kinda guy I want to be with.

The next minute heís saying that Iím a challenge to him and talked about how he really wants to have sex with me when Im ready!Then it became how Im not a challenge to him and he still wants us to take a shot together- not sure what that means.

Before the whole challenge thing came up he decided he cant REALLY tell me how he feels about me cos heís worried that Iíll give him a hard time about it. That was before I even considered exploring where this goes. Now he just seems to be avoiding me- basically just greets when we see each other and thats it.We havenít really been all that physical mostly cos of my serious lack of experience and timing always seems off. More than that I need to understand what he REALLY wants.

Off the top of my head and thats just cos Im a sceptic- I'd say its all about sex and given his past history (although he has been REALLY open about that it makes sense)- but from what i keep hearing- everyone keeps telling me with him you need to read between the lines- even my sister who happens to be a "friend" thinks that he wants the real deal and is scared to admit it. She bases this on the questions he asked about me before we started talking- about my views on life, marriage, family, relationship etc.Any advice on how to deal?


C Advice
This is a real puzzler.

On one hand he seems to be really into you but then he barely talks to you sommetimes.

You need to have a nice, gentle, long talk with him and try to find out where he is coming from. Without figuring that out, you will continue to be at a loss.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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