Back to square one
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
Hi! I haven’t written in a long time because things with my ex have been great until very recently, since last Monday December 24th when she invited me to spend Christmas eve with her family, well, it all started when I was leaving her house, she rejected giving me a kiss good bye, I know it sounds silly but that was a big thing for me because up until that moment she had been the same as when we were a couple, 4 days earlier she told me she was mine and I was hers, so I didn’t understand what happened, later she explained that we were in her parents house and that she wasn’t comfortable kissing me where we might be seen by her family because we are not back together yet. But during the week she was acting strangely, not like her usual self, she came to my house on Friday to watch a movie with me and again she rejected kissing me, this time no explanation was given she just “didn’t feel like it”, she told me on Friday that we should just ride these days, that it’s normal in our relationship to have a week or so where we are “not acting as usual” and that after that we would be like always. Maybe is the season but I her rejection is really hurting me and I just can’t ride this that easily.
Yesterday night we were text messaging each other and she wrote in a sarcastic tone, it’s hard to explain it without going into too much detail, lets just say that lately she’s been “telling” me how I’m feeling feel and what I’m thinking and when I tell her she is wrong, that I’m not upset or anything she just gets angry.
We got into an argument and again she told me that she didn’t love me, that she wants to be with me more than anything and that she has tried but that she just can’t feel the same way she once felt about me, only this time I agreed, I told her I deserve a person who loves me the way that I love her, the way she once loved me and that what we had just wasn’t enough.
I can’t believe that after all these months we’ve been spending time together almost every day, after all the wonderful moments we have lived together, after hearing her tell me things like “You are the best thing I have”, “I’m yours and you are mine”, and hearing her talk about plans for our hypothetical wedding in the near future, we’re back again in square one like the day after she broke up with me.
What should I do? Should I just call it quits? I love her deeply, but I do need someone that’s going to love me back and with the same intensity, like she used to do. Is there hope or are we just in an endless cycle leading us to nowhere?.
Please help me!
I'm confused. She said she wouldn't give you a kiss at her family's house because "we are not back together yet."
But you give the impression that everything was fine with her up to that point. There is something wrong with you two are viewing your relationnship. Or maybe it is she who is mixed up.
I rarely think this way, but this time I think it is possible that she was suffering from a very bad case of pre-menstrual syndrome. Give her another few days and see if she is back to normal. As I said, I don't usually think this way but the facts as you describe them seem to fit.
Good luck and Happy Holidays! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com