he won't share me with my kids.

Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female
i met a lovely man 3 months ago, i have two kids and he has none. i've been married, he's never even lived with anyone even though he's 40. he has had lots of relationships. he was very full on in the beginning saying he had never felt this way so quickly before. we saw each other about 3 times a week instigated by him, it wasn't always easy for me because of my kids, but i did it because i liked him so much. he admitted he would like it if i got pregnant, he met my kids and took us on lovely days out. gradually he started to make less contact when we couldn't be together. he said it was because as we got closer he had to try and switch off from me. he said he felt empty when he wasn't with me. last night he ended our relationship. he said he would fall in love with me but doesn't want to, because he doesn't think he can handle sharing me with my kids. he thinks its easier to split now even though we both have huge feelings for each other and the relationship hasn't run its course. he says he trying to protect himself from being hurt again. we both know we can,t be friends as our feelings are to strong. he also says there is no way he could do a casual relationship with me. i really want him back. he's going away for two weeks to clear his head. should i try and get him back when he returns? or do you think he's made his mind up. i know i made him really happy in the beginning, he couldn't wait to introduce me to his friends and family.

RomanceClass.com Advice
I would think it would be difficult for a 40 year old man with no history of strong bonding to change his ways.

It would be likely that he has grown selfish and set in his solitary ways. Even his way of coping with this situation-- isolating himself -- shows poor relationship skills.

The big worry, of course, is that he he might decide to give you a try and then have it not work out. This would be very painful all around. He is clearly not comfortable with your children and they would suffer if you chose to be with him.

My advice is to let him go off in his inner-directed way and not risk the happiness of your children.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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