Attempting to win Ex back...

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Me and my Ex were together for almost 2 years (March of 2006 to December of 2007), and for the first 6-7 months, we were happy. We did have some problems, but we always came through it with flying colors.

In September of 2006, my father died after losing his battle with heart disease. It devastated me, especially after I returned home with his ashes. For the next few months, including Christmas, I was a wreck.

I then lost my job with the USPS due to plant consolidation, which was a wonderful and good paying job. During the summer, I injured my back badly, keeping me down and out of things for months. I've also had some problems with my teeth (from when I was a kid), that also has gotten me down. My relationship skills were strained dealing with all the pain, and I didn't show enough affection like I could and normally do.

She has been there through all of this, but finally, she couldn't take much more of it. She began to sway to other guys, and then finally broke up with me. By the time she broke it off, I was beginning to come out of my depression and despair, and was planning to recover the relationship.

In the meantime, I have gotten my life back together by renewing my relationship to Christ, finding work, getting back into school, working out, and keeping my head up. We still talk at least once a day, and we still see each other. She says she still is attracted to me and loves me, but needs to figure out if I am the one she really wants to marry and be with.

No other guy has ever fought for her in the past, as I'm the first one. I've shown affection again, as I feel like my oldself again. But she is confused, and doesn't know what to do right now.

I guess I'm just looking for some response to see what direction I can go. It doesn't hurt her has bad to hang out with me now, but it still has some time to go. And she's talking to someone else right now, who is being the guy I was before life took me on a rollar coaster.

Thanks, and hope to hear from you all soon!

Jon Advice
You have pulled yourself through some very tough times and she should appreciate that. She has seen how strong you are.

You are lucky that you still have regular contact with her and that she still loves you.

Your best bet is to continue doing what you are doing while stepping up the romance with her. Dinners, flowers, candy, etc. every so often may work wonders with her. Remind her, briefly, that you have gone through a very bad time in your life and that you credit her with helping you through it. Make sure she knows you still love her. Hopefully some of this will work.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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