Just a tad bit confused...
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
Ok, I met this a few months ago online, beginning of September. We talked a couple times, and we really liked each other, so we met together. He was so sweet to me, he came to visit me with little gifts and all that. He made about 2 hours trip just to see me that day. I let him stay with me, and it got sexual. I surprised myself by what I did, and before it happened I got so nervous/scared I started blabbing about how I was afraid that he was just never gonna see me or call me after that. He kept saying that he wasn't like that and I needed to give him more credit than that.
We had an amazing time together that weekend, not only because of what we did together physically but we just had so much fun, even though we really didn't do anything special other than chatting together all night.
Here comes the confusing part because he said he wasn't ready for a relationship. And no, he didn't drop the bomb after it happened, he told me this before it all happened. He just said he wasn't ready.
After he went back home that day I felt a bit out of it because I shocked myself with what I did with him. then I just figured that he wasn't going to call again, but to my surprise he did, only a few hours after he left. He told me he missed me. He kept up with calling/texting me every day. He came to visit me again at the end of November. He was still the sweet guy I remembered. We were just watching some stand-up comedy stuff when out of nowhere he just put his arms around me and said, "I really like spending time with you..."
Does he like me?? I'm really jaded from past relationships so I get doubtful. I tell myself it isn't true, yet when I see him texting me good morning every day telling me that he misses me, I get confused. While he was over at my place he used to make my bed for me while I'm off showering. He would get me water when I'm thirsty, and he'd always scoot closer to the wall so I'd have more room while we're sleeping. There was this one night where I had to take a phone call, and I was gone for a bit while he was sleeping. When I came back he kept asking me where I was, and that he got so worried. I mean..where could have I gone to???? It was MY place he was staying over at.
He even asked me to come visit him as soon as possible next year (we live 2 hours away from each other, & we're both very busy most of the times). He reminded me like 3 times.
I understand that he's not willing to commit for whatever reasons, and that's fine with me. But I'm curious why he certainly acts like my bf when he's with me but won't call it that? Do you think he is just waiting to see how it goes between him and me?
He also asks me questions why I'm not dating someone. He asks me what kinda guys I've dated before, my views on future plans (marriage,kids), when I think I'll start settling down, etc. He might end up transferring school, and he also asked me, "Would you come and find me if I had to go to this/that school?...I'd come and find you if you were in ____." Why would it matter to him? It's not like we're dating.
He's so confusing...
sorry for ranting.. ):
He certainly seems to like you a lot.
His cautiousness about commitment is a question you ought to discuss with him gently when the opportunity arises. The better you understand his mind, the less you will wonder.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com