Should I Handle This A Different Way?
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
I've been dating a girl for 7 months, and everything has been going fine. I just started college and she is a senior in high school, also, we live in the same town cause college is in the same town. She is 17 and I am 19. Anyways, things were going fine for a while, but then I started to have feelings for another girl and she is 19. I thought it would go away, just like a phase, but after a couple weeks of having it, I knew it wouldn't go away. The girl at the college, I know she likes me back and we usually hang out just the two of us like 3 or 4 nights a week in the dorms. But she has a boyfriend and I'm not going to do anything to break them up because that would not be right to her. But while thinking about all that, I knew that if it would take a girl that I started to have feelings for to change my thoughts on if i wanted to stay with my girlfriend, then I wouldn't be giving her the 100% that she deserves. Plus, if there was any doubt on if I really do want to be with her, then i wouldn't be giving the 100% that i should be giving, and I want to give her that 100% because I love her that much. So this past Wednesday I chose to break up with my girlfriend because i needed to sort things out, for example that I need to be giving 100% if i want to be back with my girlfriend. Well for my girlfriend, i have been a major influence on her life, because i have changed her personality in a good way from the effects of her past boyfriends. To sum it up, she has been abused and used, she always had a negative aspect on everything. She always thought that she would never get anything great, until I showed her that i could. Well we still talk and on Friday night we talked on the phone for like 4 hours. We came to a decision that we were going to wait until she was graduated from high school to get back together. We still love and care about each other, and there was a night that we were suppose to just talk, and go over everything. Well, we ended up having sex, and without purposely doing it, we ended up being friends with benefits. Also with the things that have been going with the college girl, she is still with her boyfriend and does not have any intention on breaking up. Even though when we are together we don't do anything that would cheat on her boyfriend, and when we are together, she calls me like little pet names like, babe, honey, and sweetie. So i don't really know how i to handle this. I know this would be something that i would have to talk about in person, cause it is very long to type out, and it would more than likely be an 8-page novel. So pretty much from the information there, have i made the right choice? Or should I have handled it differently? If so, then how should I do it.
Sounds like you have handled everything perfectly.
If your college friend becomes free, you will be there waiting.
Meanwhile you have friends with benefits which might turn back into BF/GF.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com