Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My ex-boyfriend and I have been broken up since May, after being together for 2 years. It was a pretty fast breakup after continuous fighting and bickering, he wanted out pretty fast and broke things off. I gave him what he wanted the most, which was the space he needed and the breakup eventually became easier for me to handle slowly aftertime. I am currently dating someone who I've been with for 4 months now, and my ex has been dating around as well, but is currently single. Up to about a month ago, my ex has been texting me about every other day, either just making small talk, or even wanting to hang out. But then again sometimes, he will text me saying to "hook" him up with girls that he knows I am really good friends with. He knows I am in a relationship, but it doesn't seem to phase him at all. I've only hung out with him once since the breakup, because I didn't want him to think he can just play mind games with me and I wanted to remind him we are just friends now. I used to think he just wanted to try to "bootycall" me when he first started asking me to hang out, but he said it wasn't that at all, and that he just wanted to catch up. Lately, he tries to get me to come over just to hang out with him and the boys. Just the other night he texted me saying he was just listening to a song that reminded him of me when we were dating, and that he just wanted to let me know he was "thinking about me". I don't want to fall for him again, because I don't think it will ever be the same of how it was before things started to fall apart between us that lead to our breakup, and I don't want to develop feelings for him because I am scared he will hurt me again. Plus, I have major trust issues with him, but then again, I loved him to pieces and it's hard not to think about him sometimes. I am just confused to why he is doin this, when he was the one who wanted out of the relationship in the first place, and didn't want anything to do with me for the longest time. He's messing with my head! I don't really want to ask him about his feelings because I think it would be easier if I didn't know, plus I am finally starting to get over him completely. But by him doing these things is making it hard. Maybe he is finally starting to realize what he lost. . because it was a damn good girl! :) Any suggestions on what he's doing?
It seems to me that you are playing mind games with him.
Just tell him outright that you are over him and you want it to stay that way. And that you don't want any more contact with him. Tell him that it's not because you don't like him but that you just want to have a clean break.
The way things are going now, he doesn't know where you are coming from. You need to fix that.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com