He said no

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
Ok, so there is this guy that I've gone to school with since kindergarten (I'm in 9th grade now). He and I were "office aides" together last year and we got pretty close because we were the only kids in the office for a whole hour. We talked about random stuff and had a lot of fun. We would always joke around and we worked really well together. Towards the end of the year, I started liking him as more than just a friend and I thought he felt the same way, but neither of us said anything. So, school got out and it was summer vacation. We live in the same neighborhood so, occasionally I'd see him out riding his bike with his friends and stuff, but we wouldn't really say anything to each other. But one day, it was like half way through the summer and I couldn't stand not talking to him. It'd been sooooo long. So, I had only his home phone number and no other way to communicate with him, so I called and he picked up. I was expecting it to be some short conversation like, "So...how's you're summer going?" "Good." "Ok, well I gotta go, so I'll see you in high school!" or something like that, but NOOOOO....we talked for an HOUR on the phone about completely random stuff JUST like we had in the office during the school year.

So, this year...We started high school. I saw him a little bit at orientation and stuff, but we didn't talk much. I didn't ask him what classes he had and I still don't know what his classes are, but somehow I knew that we were going to have a class together. I don't know how, but I could just feel it. I suspected Spanish. And what do you know...the first day of school...third period, here he comes. We didn't talk too much cuz other people were around and he didn't seem to want to me in front of his friends or other people so all of a sudden, there was a sort of awkwardness between us.

We would still kinda flirt though..or so I thought... And finally, I just couldn't stand not knowing anymore if he liked me or not. So yesterday, I told him. I told him in a message online and I didn't really want to do it that way...but oh well. So I told him that I liked him a lot and I wondered if he felt the same way, but he said no. And I KNEW, again, I don't know HOW exactly, but it was just a gut feeling, I guess...I KNEW that he was going to say no. And then he did.

But the thing is, I thought that if he said no he didn't like me, that I would be totally crushed and the door would've been slammed in my face, but...it's not... It's really really hard to explain, but I don't think that the door is closed...It actually opened more. I guess it's kind of like...Ok, he said he didn't like me, but it still feels like he does. Do you think he could've been scared to tell me that he did like me? Maybe because of commitment or...just...cuz he's afraid? It was kind of all of a sudden, I guess.

But, I mean, there were so many typical reasons to believe that he liked me. A few weeks ago, he asked me for my screen name...HE asked ME and then we ended up talking for a little bit, but then he said he had to go. And we were messaging each other on myspace and then it all came to a stop. (before I told him how I felt...) So, did he just suddenly stop liking me? Or does he still like me, but...he's just...afraid. I mean, I guess he is kinda shy...but I thought that he really did like me. That there really was something there...

This is the first time that I've actually felt this strongly for a guy. I mean, i could SEE it...us together... It seemed so right...so obvious. Like two pieces of a puzzle sitting right next to each other...it's like, HELLO???? yes, the DO go together. They're supposed to. I guess I just want to know if you think that there could be chance here. We flirted so much last year, and this year, it was a sort of awkwardness that...I just thought our friendship...turned towards something else...I have no idea. I just really want to ask him if that's seriously how he feels, but... I don't know.

RomanceClass.com Advice
He has had some time to think about it now.

So, start talking to him again and see how he reacts. Try to figure out if his feelings have changed. After a week, ask him if he likes you now.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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