is there still hope?
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Male
ok there is this girl that i met through work. at 1st i just thought she was beautiful but nothing else. well after talking to her and having lunch and break w/ her during worka couple of times, i started falling for her. she then disappeared for like 2 weeks and when i finally saw her again got her number and gave her mine. so we started talking/ texting and i then asked her out on a date. she said yes. like any 1st date we were both a bit nervous but got more and more comfortable throughout the date. overall it turned out good. 2 weeks later we had another date and it was simply amazing. we were both laughing and smiling so much and i just really enjoyed her company. we were both hugging each other and very flirty and even held hands for the 1st time.
it was after this date i knew i wanted to be w/ her. then about 2 or 3 days later she sent me a text: choose one (1)kiss me(2)makeout(3) be friends(4) be boyfriend/girlfriend (5) talk all night on the phone. i chose 4. at first she was very surprised and said she had never thought about it. but then she told me she liked me too but that she was scared and felt pressured and did not want to rush things. well we went out again on friday and once again had an amazing time and held hands again. only this time she gave me a kiss on the cheek. well i found out she doesnt have a phone, so i did not know whenid see her again or even be able to ask her if she would be my gf. so decided to visit her at work and ask if i could come over that night. she said yes. when i arrived at 1st we both pretty much fooled around and just had fun. then i finally got serious and asked her. she said things like why do you want me? and im not a good person. she told me that this was not the right time. her mother just broke up w/ her boyfriend, her grandmother and her mother and her were not in good terms, she needed to improve in school. and just so many things happening to her at the moment. and plus that i was such a nice guy that she did not to hurt me, for me to hate her or for us to lose each other completely. she laso did not want risk getting strong feelings or i guess love me and then get hurt. she is like this because she has suffered so much in the past. and she says she is messed up right now. i know she was telling the truth because this is not the 1st time she mentioned this. i asked her if she truly liked me and liked being w/ me and she said yes. and i tried to convince her to give it a try but then her mother made her go home. i dont know if its hopeless. if its just a matter of time. or if it will ever happen. i think i may be falling for her. should i give up and move on? might there still be a chance? i really need to know what you think i should do! sorry its long! please respond as soon as possible!
It sounds like she cares for you and enjoys being with you.
Don't push it about being boy/girl friends. Just keep it on a friendly basis. It is likely that she will want to go beyond friends pretty soon.
Give her a kiss on the cheek and hug often. Hang out whenever you can.
Her life is busy so don't make a nuisance of yourself.. give her plenty of space for her commitments like school, work, and family. Listen to her troubles and give her advice.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com