Transitioning in a long term Relationship
Visitor's Question from a 16-20 year old Female
've been dating my current boyfriend for 9 months, and he's been my longest relationship. So, right now we're in this awkward transition stage where we don't need to be on each other 24/7 to know we love each other.
The problem is, I'm the one constantly struggling through this stage. He doesn't feel compelled to always be touching me, or kissing me, and I just can't get into that swing. It's hard for me to not want attention constantly.
I need advice on how to just...stop being so needy of attention in a relationship that is starting to mellow out, and not get mad when he doesn't address me every few minutes.
Yes, it would be good for you to get over the neediness or you may end up driving him away. On the other hand, perhaps you need to find someone new who would fulfill your desires.
You seemed to be hooked on positive attention. It wouldn't be difficult to imagine you transferring this from attention to alcohol, candy, food, or some other source of pleasure. This is something to be avoided.
Perhaps if you figure out the source of your condition it might help to overcome it. Were you given large amounts of attention and affection as a child? If so, realizing that could help you reduce the need. Or perhaps you have been deprived of affection during your life and this relationship is the first time you have had it and you don't want to give it up.
In any case, it won't be easy overcoming this natural desire for affection. If this continues to be a problem during your life, you may want to get help from a counselor. But I don't think you have reached that point yet.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com