Planning Revenge on your Ex

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My ex recently married my cousin. However he was unaware that she was my cousin when they met and we are not close anyhow. They are now married and live right down the road from me.

I'd really like to make her insanely jealous due to the fact that my heart aches everyday. Any ideas on how to rock the relationship with out harrassing them? Advice
I know you're not going to like this answer - but actively planning to harm others because it will make you feel good is never an answer that really WILL make you feel good. And it gets you used to taking delight in the pain of others which is a character trait you really want to stay away from.

Your ex is gone and out of your life. It really sounds like you haven't accepted this yet. Why should what he does or doesn't do affect you any more? He has moved on, which is a normal thing. The ONLY person you are hurting with these feelings is you, and that's not fair at all. It's in your brain and hurting you. It's time for you to break that cycle.

I'd really talk to a therapist about this. People break up all the time and one of the important things you learn is how to survive a breakup. It's a critical life skill that you have to learn so you make it through life. Believe me, there are tons of disappointments you will face along the way, and the sooner you learn to get through them intact, the better for you.

The therapist can help you get through your anger, and hurt, and sadness. When you can really put that guy behind you, and just be happy for yourself, you may run into the perfect guy for you and be truly happy together. And the last thing you will ever consider thinking about is that old guy from your past.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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