he's always nagging and we fight a lot
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
i was in a great relationship until my man and i both decided it would be better if we split. there were many reasons for this, but we have remained close, on account of having 2 kids together, and also because we both still do love eachother like crazy.
a few months ago, i married another man. my ex was really happy for me, and everything was going great until a few weeks ago, when i went round to my ex's house to pick up our kids and take them home.
he was really upset, and had been crying, so i went in and comforted him.
later on, he was still a bit upset, but i didnt want to leave until he was ok again, so i phoned my hubby, and told him where i was, but he started shouting at me and saying that my ex just wanted me thereto get me into bed, that he didn't like me, never mind love me.
i told my hubby to back off, and i hung up, but since then he's barely spoken to me, and when he does, he ends up shouting and slagging me and my ex off.
he's scaring our kids, and whenever i try and speak to him about things he gets in a temper.
this is all really upsetting me, and the kids, as well as my ex, because he thinks its my fault.
what should i do? none of will go to a councillor, because we're not the richest of people. i just want to know how to work things out between us.
Think back to when "everything was going great."
Then what happened... you comforted your ex and that got your hubby into a temper. My advice is that it will work better all around if you don't comfort your ex any more. This is unfortunate and sad, but it is better than having *everyone* upset and angry.
Tell your hubby that if you had know what would happen you would have chosen him and the kids over the ex. That's a bit of an exaggeration, of course, but the intent is good. Tell your hubby that you won't do it again. That should calm him down quite a bit. He won't do a 180 and be a happy camper right away because he is still upset. But he will come around.
Tell your ex that you can't comfort him because it causes too much trouble for everyone.
Not a perfect solution, but one that should work.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com