the more I try the more I screw up.
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
Me and my ex broke up like six months ago and now we are going to the same university and I really love her and I think we should keep on going out to see were our relationship can take us it doesn’t matter if we end up together or not what's important to me to see where we can take this but the problem is like two months ago I just put my self too forward and I kinda rushed her to be back with me and now she is kind off got thrown off by that, she wants to take things really slow and after that she has been weird and I keep on trying to talk about what's wrong and how to fix it but she keep on thinking I am blaming everything on her and that I am viewing her as the bad guy which really I am not.
And now we still talk every once and a while and she would hang out with me every once and a while but she will be all weird and awkward and I can understand that because its been a while since we have been together and we are definitely not used to view each other as friends (and if she has the chance to avoid hanging out she would) and also when we talk she is really straight forward and short do not want to start a talk.
And I tried some of your advices like being friendly and being cheerful and tell her interesting stuff that I am doing and then I get into our personal problems it just I cant help it.
And I feel like the more I try the more I am building walls between us. I just want her to love hanging out with me as she used too and I want her to be cool with me as before as far as I am concerned from her and her friends she is not going out with anyone and she haven’t found anyone else yet… and I don’t want her to slip away from my hands because of my stupid ways that only keep on getting me in trouble what do you recommend me do, she means a lot to me and she is really fun to be around for me she is more than a girlfriend she is also like a best friend.
As you pointed out, the problem arises when you get into your personal problems and you say you can't help it.
But that's your only choice. You have to stop talking about your personal problems.
Clearly a relationship is not going to happen quickly, so be prepared for the long haul.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com