Cheating with my ex

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
I'm 25, and up until 5 months ago, was in a loving realtionship with the father of my little girl, but he is much older, 55. Let's call him 'John'.

We broke up because he didn't want to get married after already having two divorces under his belt, but it's something that's very important to me. We are still very close, and we're both still really in love, but both want me to move on and fulfill my dreams.

A few weeks ago, my new boyfriend, let's call him 'Paul', moved in with me and my daughter. We have been going out for three and a hald months now.

A few days ago, 'Paul' and I had a row, and I went to 'John's' house, where my little girl and I were staying the week-end.

Because we are still close, he consoled me, and told me it would be okay, but then we looked deep into eachother's eyes... and I ended up cheating on 'Paul' with 'John'.

I'm totally stuck now. I really felt the old connection between 'John' and I, but we've discussed this at length, and we're not getting back together again, because we've split up, gotten back together becuase of our daughter, and then split up again, and don't want to have to go through the pain again.

What am I supposed to do?? HELP ME!!! Advice
Well you have probably considered this a lot but my advice is to reconsider your decision that you need to get married... that seems to be your sticking point.

You didn't mention whether you want more children and how 'John' feels about that. If you do and he doesn't then that's something else between you.

But, back to your current situation. What should you do about the cheating? My advice is to tell 'Paul' everything including your love for 'John.' This may end your relationship with 'Paul,' but it needs to be done.

Overall, my advice is to see a professional counselor for assistance figuring out what is going on. It is far too complex to discuss in a forum.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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