I keep cheating with the same guy
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
A few years ago, while I was married, I met a man that I have fantastic physical and emotional chemistry with. We began seeing each other while I was still married. He stopped seeing me during this time to pursue another woman. When things did not work out between them, we began seeing each other again. After a few months my abusive marriage began to escalate and I left my husband. We continued to see each other for several months until he told me he could not see me anymore because our relationship had no long-term potential due to the fact that I have children and he wants a different kind of lifestyle than I am able to have (travel, adventure, etc.) I was absolutely devastated and heart broken. I sincerely loved him more than anyone, including my ex-husband.
After some time had passed I started dating again, and met someone whom I really enjoyed spending time with. Within several weeks of our "courtship" my old flame re-entered the picture and I cheated on my current boyfriend with him. Nothing came of it, and I told myself I was only doing it to prove that I could be with him again without falling back in love with him. Almost immediately, I began doubting my current relationship and then broke up with him only because I knew that I didn't feel the same way towards him that he did towards me.
So I began dating again after time had passed. I attempted to recreate the relationship with him, but he had started seeing someone and wanted nothing from me, even friendship. After deciding not to date for awhile and clear my head, I was introduced to the kindest, smartest, most honorable man. We hit it off quite well and after taking our dating relationship very slow, we decided to become exclusive. I have finally introduced him to my children and have begun to integrate him into more of my life. But in the past few weeks while he has been out of town, I have cheated on him with my old flame. I do not understand why I keep going back to this guy. I know that he is a horrible match for me but I love him so much and can't seem to get over him. I am now very concerned that my feelings for my new love will wither away and I will spiral into another self destructive yearning for the old flame. How do I get over him and how do I stop cheating on others with the same guy?
Your problem is more than can be answered here.
My advice is to seek assistance from a professional counselor who may be able to help you figure it out.
This will take time but is worth it.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com